Jokes
pedro: alam mo, Rosa.
Rosa: ano yun?
pedro: your eyes are really attractive
Rosa: tlaga?
pedro: oo, they attract each other! nyahahhaa........
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GMA n her family riding an airplane..
GMA: wat f i throw 1 check worth a million
pesos out of d window 2 mke at least 1 filipino
happi?
MIKE ARROYO: honey, y not throw 2 checks
worth half a million pesos 2 mke 2 filifinos hapi?
LULI ARROYO: mom, y not throw 4 checks worth
quarter of a million 2 mke
4 filipinos hapi?
finaly her grandaughter spoke:
grandma, y not simply throw urself out da wndow
2 mke all filipinos hapi!..pakalat ntin dali...
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GRADUATION DAY SPEECH: 2nyt i am graduation,
i invitation u ol 2 eat our hauz coz i know sumdy dt i will
eat ur hawz too! I will die 5 chickens,3 grils & 2 boys
2 eat u ol & i will ask my father 2 cook my mother.
Thank you..bt i'm sori 2 inform u dat my rice is corn.
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if you want to remove wrinkles, pimples,
face marks and the 7 signs of skin aging
try....
ADOBE PHOTOSHOP!
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Headlines bukas ngayon ang brodkas!
gud news! wlang badnews!
tahanang wlang hagdan, inakyat!
Isang bakla ginahsa, tuwang-tuwa!
Unanong madre napagkamalng penguin!
bulag nkapatay ngdilim daw ang paningin!
tindera ng suka tinoy0!
teacher ngkamali, tinuruan ng leksyon!
basurero ngsampa ng kaso, binasura!
tubero ngkatul! misis ng phtographer, nakunan!
isang buntis cnaksak, bta nkaiwas!
unggoy bumabasa ng txtmsg, napangiti,
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Use DEDICATE in a sentence..
pag ginamitan mo yan ng glue 4 sure
DEDICATE yan..
How about CONTINUE ..
kahapon ang dami dami nyo bkit ngayon ang CONTINUE..
Idagdag pa ntin ang VIOLET...
Naholdap yung cellphone ko,
di bale I'LL VIOLET..
eto pa OPINION...
papasok ka sa pinto OPINION..
eh ang CONCLUSION...
syempre, d ka nman mkakapasok sa pintuan CONCLUSION..HEHE.....
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4 kato2hanan sa mundo:
Una: d lahat ng ipin ai abot ng dila mu.
ika2: su2bukan ng mga tanga qng 22o
ang una.
ika3: ang una ai mali
ika4: ma22wa ka dhil ngmukha kng tanga!
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A phlosophy teacher chalengng a studnt of his faith n God...
Teacher: 2 see s 2 beliv, hve u seen God?
Student: no sir i havnt
Teacher: den der is no God!
Student: Sir may i ask a question? Hav u seen ur brain?
Teahcer: no
Student: uwi na taU wla palang utak c Sir!
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Dear anak,
Naipadala kona 50,000 png tuition mo, pnagbli n nmin
ung kalabaw.A ng mhal pla counterstrike na kurso!
wla na rin tau mga baboy,naipagbli n rin nmin pra dun s cnsbi mong project,
nokia N75 ba yun? Ang mhal nmn ng project mo! ksama dn dun 7000 pra sa
field trip nyo sa mall of asia.Mlayo b un,bkit ang mhal? issanla p nmin palayan
pra mabili mo ung instrumentong i-pod.
Napailaw nyo na b ung pnagpuyatan nyong san mig lights? sana grumaduate kana..!!
love,
NANAY
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ANAK: Tay wla nnamn tyong ulam
AMA: Mahirap ngayon ang buhay anak,
tiis muna tayo, isipin mo na lng ung ulam
na sasabihin ko sa bwat subo mo
ANAK: Cge tay!
AMA: Nilagang baka!
ANAK: Hmmm...sarap
AMA: Adobo baboy!
ANAK: Hmmm...sarap
AMA: Kalderetang kambing!
ANAK: Huhuhuhuhu
AMA: Bkit ka niyak!
ANAK: Ang anghang tay!
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Pano kung ang grades mo ay
MATH-68
PHYSICS-65
ENGLISH-69
ECONOMICS-66
ok lng yan b proud...
at sbhin mo,
AT LEAST WLA KOY
LINE OF SEVEN!! o dba?!
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A grl trnsferd in a public skul.
dey hav a 3 rowed CR 4 grls.
but nobody uses d middle CR xcpt her.She's
wondering y she olwys fil dt drs som1 touchng
her 4 head evrytym she uses dat CR...
1 day,she saw a janitress & askd her..
G: xcuse me,mtagal ka na ba d2?
J: oo,bkit?
G: kc s 2wing gngamit ko ung gitnang CR
prang may humihipo s NOO q.
J: wg mo pancnin un,PAA q lng un nung NAGBIGTI AKO.
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May s2ry ako sayo: My friend,as a boy,went
2 skul evryday w/ his dog..bt later dey had 2 go to sparate..
my friend wnt 2 skul alon.. Y? coz his dog graduated!
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Mommy1: Ano ang pinapainum mo sa baby mo?
Mommy2: "promil" para sa matatag na pangarap...eh ikaw?
Mommy1: "emperador" para sa totoong tagumpay!
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Pedro bumps a foreigner:
Pedro: Ay sori
Foreigner:
Sori 2
Pedro: Sori3
Foreigner: Wat r u sori 4?
Pedro: (kala mo bobo ako ha!) sori 5
Foreigner: I think u r SICK!
Pedro: hahaha! Sick daw, SIX gani!
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KONSEHAL: Paki acknowledge si Mayor. Late dumating, hayun kararaan lang!
PEDRO (Emcee): I WUD LYK TO ACKNOWLEDGE THE
LATE MAYOR HU JUST PASSED AWAY.